I had a dream last night; I was at the bottom of a rainbow with him. He told me “This is your journey, ours ends here. Hear me in your heartbeat, always love. And when you’re ready to return, I’ll be waiting for you. I love you baby, I love you.” Then he sent me on my way. As I started on my journey, it began to rain. I looked back to see him, the rain melted the colors of the rainbow and washed him away, slowly. I was alone, I was terrified.
I continued and the wind grew stronger, it knocked me off my feet. I sat there at the edge of the rainbow with my feet hanging off the side. Thousand of miles from the ground and a million clouds below me, I knew he was no longer. Half my heart, half my soul gone and at the end of this rainbow it will be a reality in my world. I could have sat there forever but I got up and continued.
I stood at the top of the rainbow and felt empty and alone in the middle of the sky. I saw images of us laughing in the clouds, I started to cry and it began to snow. I felt him through the cold emptiness of the white bland world around me. I felt him beside me and I was no longer afraid.
Suddenly it began harder for me to walk. The rainbow turned into tar. As I walked I sunk deeper, I looked down it was up to my knees. But I was fighting through the sticky, restraining, black tar. Knowing at the end I would no longer be scared. I had to become the warrior he trained me to be. I knew it was my sadness that wanted to keep me in the dark so I fought.
I could see the end of the rainbow and the sun was shinning. Yards of green grass and colorful flowers below me. It was lovely and I felt happy to see the beauty in something.
I stopped, not wanting to reach the end. Fearing the world without him and feeling it was not worth being if he wasn’t. Steps before reaching the meadow, I thought of turning back. Knowing he would be waiting for me and not wanting to live with this agony, regret, unbearable gilt even though he told me what to do. I felt the sunlight on my face but I was frozen.
I then heard a child’s voice yell my name. A familiar voice and without a thought in my mind I stepped off the rainbow onto the grazing land, I walked towards the voice. I stopped and turned to see the rainbow, it was gone. A small hand caressed mine, I looked down at a kind, worriless face and smiled. I was safe, fearless and awake.
DEZ HUSH
